Love Unfeigned
A Chapel Talk
By Allyce Cay-Bothmann
Mortals are not able to understand love except in a few of its relatively crude manifestations. A child loves a caring mother as long as its needs are met, but as soon as something does not go its way, irritation or anger surges in. People love those close to them if and when these people are giving and loving to them. Our religion tries to teach us how important love is and illustrates varying degrees of selfless actions. We realize that we are happy when more kind and loving, yet persons and happenings conspire to frustrate our feelings until it is sometimes difficult to even care for ourselves. We are sent here to learn love.
It is the power and wisdom that unifies the Grand Universe. How are we to love properly? When the life force is active and the mating instincts are upon us, they say we are in love. We are given the overwhelming sense of transferring our attention to another, but although in rare cases this devotion may endure, usually this is one of the most transitory of our emotions; it is the source of much of our disappointment as well as anger, jealousy and revenge. During this time, however, when so absorbed in another person, we learn something of love. Sadly, it is often so ruined by our human frailties, that its principle is lost.
In the invisible regions of repulsion and attraction, we may confuse an appreciation of a fine dwelling on a quiet street for an aspect of love of a particular beauty and comfort. If the desire is deep and persistent enough, it can manifest, and some, whose hopes and wishes do not rise to higher levels, may be satisfied with this gratification. Nonetheless, the next step here is the realization of the instability of the material world.
The soul needs inner progress, and it will not let the person rest until there is an ever finer growth. We come to realize that the way to go is to keep a positive attitude—a virtue recognized as far back as Aristotle. Hamlet in Shakespeare’s great study, told his mother, who had hastily married his amoral uncle, that her behavior was, in effect, an insult to the former king, her late husband and Hamlet’s murdered father. He said, “Assume a virtue if you have it not.” We do not master a complex or difficult quality in a day or in a single lesson. As in learning a technique on a musical instrument, there has to be practice of whatever combination of controls until the sound is perfected and becomes second nature.
As fellow humans we have to eventually be the loving sisters and brothers our Lord the Christ desires of us—not for his sake, but that we may develop into the miraculous beings of light of our destiny.
I once had a dear lady friend who often displayed a very affected attitude—like a poor actor. This bad acting I later noticed in a con man, social climbers, politicians and others. Insincerity is behind the clever user and selfish promoter for personal gain. The trusting nature has to be educated to know the difference among these types.
The poor intentions of a friend or associate who is not sure of his behavior but is trying to be positive and sometimes even helpful must be overlooked, because we should all endeavor to be positive, especially in trying circumstances. The more developed people at last naturally become kindly and self-possessed. Most of us would be fine actors in a fitting part of a play. We find it no trouble to be sincere, as we are and intend to be well meaning. Cheerfulness is most attractive and as any negative thought or feeling pollutes the aura and atmosphere, we do not always remember to keep making an effort to monitor our behavior in this regard.
We are going to have our aggravations, annoyances, hurtful surprises, accidents and all manner of challenges to our self control. Each time—day or night—often when tired or uncomfortable, sometimes in pain, our weakness is bombarded to force us to give in to some tempting release of negativity—whether it be a wry or cutting comment, retaliating decision or any angry reaction—any time we allow our ruffled feathers to appear, we are not passing the well-engineered test, small or great—for which we took on this life. This does not mean we have to be spineless and let ourselves be pushed about. Not at all. The practice is to keep our hands on the steering wheel, be alert, watch what is happening, (aside from feelings) and have a very firm place where we are headed.
With a strong, definite goal or entrenched purpose, we can be much more guided to ignore the pulls of opinions and distractions. We embody the attitude of calm with the inner time to decide the beneficial action. One way to manage the vicissitudes is to get in the habit of curbing your speech. We are told in the scriptures not to allow the tongue, the most unruly member, to run every thought out of the head. It is said to let our words be a simple as “yea” or “nay.” Of course, as long as we speak kindly and appropriately, we are not supposed to be mute unless that is the right thing to do in a specific situation. We learn more by listening, as a rule, than rattling on, however, speaking what we already know.
This is simple to say, but at our stage of development, it is a necessary work for all. The first diagram in the Cosmo lays out the ascending areas of our operation, and studying the realms up to the godly Ego, we are hit with the importance of controlling every thought. This is a high and hard realization. Nevertheless, once informed, we are responsible. We know about our places of ignorance, but some are not important, as we aren’t supposed to work on areas not encompassed in this life’s destiny. One can get way off track when giving time and energy to interests that are not in the line of what we came to accomplish. There are areas of the personality, which need to be cleared for the most timely and effective progress.
Many bricks must be placed together and much must be built before a roof can be put upon the edifice. Often a person is taken out of this life, because the energy is wasted on wrong pursuits. Although everyone fritters away energy, time and means, most of us keep plugging along and in the end, much is achieved—even if some comes together in old age.
When we are born, we have to live as best we can with what we bring into the world. What we are here to do is to achieve power to fit into the grand plan of our scheme of evolution. We are gathering strength and the trustworthiness to express the in-born abilities, which can come only through acquiring great skill and cultivating a desire to contribute our part.
When we are young, we have little idea of the inconsistencies in our characters which we are supposed to correct in the present life. Family members and those who put up with us enough to be our friends sometimes try to hint or let us know that we do certain things, which hurt or annoy them. For the grosser flaws, the individual receives consequences related to civil law, but for those who gossip, are controlling, are parsimonious or lacking in social skills, their associates will not want to confront them, but will merely avoid them.
Thus, we, who are trying to purify and polish our characters should welcome any assistance in such improvement.
What does this have to do with pure love? Many crude or simple people have finely sensitized feelings and more recipient hearts than the proud intellectual or arrogant professional. But the admonition is: “Be ye perfect,” and those who have the experiences of serious Rosicrucians are coming close to refining the relatively minor character deficiencies. We are ready to admit and face our faults. We may need many reminders and are as yet liable to slips and flubs or even long-standing misconceptions. In making a garment, cutting it out and sewing the various pieces together, it takes knowledge and practice, but the finishing gives it its worth with style and accents. A keen appreciative eye knows a fine article by the material and the care with which it is created. Usually, it takes much more time and expertise to work on the finishing and decorative touches of a dress or jacket or whatever is being made, than any other part of the process. So, we must begin cleaning and tidying our characters to make way for spiritual power.
At the general mortal level, our concept of love is mostly affection—often largely affected—although sometimes probing to selflessness. It takes lifetimes to become selfless, even to a minor degree. It is a more powerful vibration that approaches the cosmic love the Christ demonstrated in His patience, teaching genius and amazing miracles. We are told that the martyred Stephan performed greater miracles, but that is all. Evidently this is some of the history of the Lord’s time, not as yet revealed. We have more than we can deal with right now. We can study some of the great lives of such as the saints, Emanuel Swedenborg, Mrs. Mary Baker Eddy, Saint Francis and the works of the apostles, for example. They were entrusted with the great power of love unfeigned or cosmic purification. These advanced ones were endowed with the wisdom and judgment to override conventional law, merging into the miraculous or what is conceived as such.
There are those intermittent advanced persons whose will and abilities raise them to states of leadership in their times. We are in the ascending way to greatness and sanctity, which will eventually place each in entrusted positions. There are many failures behind the success of spiritual trustworthiness, but there are neither favorites nor short cuts to achievements.
A plodder on the upward way may be consoled by the knowledge that all who are before him or behind him have to pass every inch of self-mastery with the most meticulous testers for all and each. As our education evolves, as our determination increases the pressure to achieve, as our expertise hones itself on trials and set-backs; so our abilities with the desire toward godliness instead of self aggrandizement develop refined characteristics. Hence, is vouchsafed more and more power of the grand creative will of the cosmic love.
Through lifetimes of experiential lessons, there arises a desire to share our understandings. The Lord told us to preach the gospel to every creature. The scriptures are deep and fundamental to open vistas of meanings. Many of us have experienced those who just learned what they may consider cogent ideas and they may go about displaying their supposed erudition. I have know such fine students of life, but people do not like to be lectured—especially if the subject hits close to home. At times our pets, a sly little cat or willful dog, will realize by our tone of voice and serious manner that we are trying to put over a point and they are flattered by the attention if not the idea. It has been cited by the master of sociability, Dale Carnegie, people do not like to be preached to unless they are in a class or church. Even then, hard truths are not assimilated easily. In spreading spiritual teaching there are missionaries and there are salient reasons for proselytizing, but as individuals in our association with others, the best gospel we can teach is a loving, listening, empathetic presence. A good example is a sermon in itself.
The psychiatrist lets the patient ramble along for years, until happily an insight may surface. So, the wise person sees his fellows with unfeigned love—a Love that in advance forgives failings, faults, some gross debts and trespasses—although some must be caringly addressed. The Christ showed us exactly how it is done. Growing in the high vibration of the cosmic all-embracing Love, which It is, we become this magnificent, creative power. It becomes and overcomes mortal existence. Then we begin to comprehend what is meant when we hear, God is Love. We then start anew to rise to our place of light in the Grand Universe. It is our habitat and our being!
Allyce Cay-Bothmann
